


The Lights

by PaisleyWraith



Series: Dawn AU [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Background characters and pairings of Dawn canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 08:31:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14351778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaisleyWraith/pseuds/PaisleyWraith
Summary: On the second leg of their journey, Wielder Paladin Stotch and his guard visit the Elven Treetops and restore what lights have been absent for generations.





	The Lights

Clyde paused halfway on the bridge when he didn’t feel the slight swing of another person. He glanced behind to see the Paladin Stotch regarding it warily.

“It’s safe,” Clyde said, hopping slightly on the wooden slats for good measure. “We used to cross these things in masses, you know? Totally safe.”

Butters gave him a wry smile and took a shaky step forward, biting his lip.

“Gosh, I’m glad we didn’t have these back home,” The boy laughed nervously. “Is it the only way to get across?”

It was if you didn’t want to walk back down the tree-stairs and back up another after walking the distance between the two. Clyde ended up walking back, with the air of someone who had done it a million times. Butters squinted at him, sheepishly.

“Sorry,” He said, and Clyde shrugged.

“It took me years to really get used to it,” He said, and held out his hand. “I worked up here a lot, you know?”

Butters gratefully took his hand, gripping it like a lifeline. “I thought you guarded in the caves, mostly,” He said, very obviously trying not to look down. He focused directly on Clyde, fingers trembling. Odd. You’d think someone who had stood up to his tormentor for years, who left his own home to follow a friend wouldn’t be all nervous about heights. Clyde didn’t care, however, and gently led the Paladin across.

“Not at first,” He said, suddenly aware of his calloused hands next to Butters’ soft palms. Ah, the benefits of never being forced into slave labor. “And anyway, I like it up here. Out in the air, not underground.”

“Uh-huh,” Butters said, which likely meant he wasn’t entirely listening. “Halfway across now, right?”

Clyde glanced back at him to see the other staring up at the sky, which was kinda super funny but also sad.

“Yeah, almost there,” The guard promised, wondering how they were supposed to light everything if the wielder was scared to death of the swinging bridges far above the forest floor. “Looks like you got two to place soon as you reach the other end. Then we have some of the guard towers.”

“I can do that,” Butters laughed, other fist clenched tightly around the Staff, stones nearly purple in the incoming twilight. “I was hoping we’d be done before dark, though.”

“I told you the treetops were huge,” Clyde led him to the solid paneling of the next flat, hearing the blond sigh in relief. “Most people live out here. Not underground.”

He let go of Butters’ hand, catching a sweet, grateful smile from the boy before he turned around, lifting the Staff and his opposite hand to form a light, bringing both together to send it to nestle up in it’s place by the posts holding up the bridge.

Clyde watched, leaning against one of the guardrails against falling off the platform. It was always fascinating to watch. Normally people swarmed them, standing back to watch and stare at the lights of the Kingdoms being restored. They had at the Keep, and in the Caverns, but Clyde supposed most people didn’t realize they were still working as night approached. Arriving at the cities neither of them had ever lived at was going to be interesting. And he’d have to be on his guard.

In all honesty, Clyde was aware that he totally shouldn’t have this job. He was probably the most underqualified person ever…Stan should have been appointed, or something, Clyde wasn’t the best fighter, had no magic ability, and people constantly harped on him for being…less than genius.

God did he try, though.

“Let’s get the guard tower,” Clyde urged, moving back away from certain death to point at the structure that rose from the platform, beautifully grown tree limbs that formed into some kind of building. “This one’s the big one, I think it has three places inside.”

“Alright,” Butters said, brushing off his pale green tunic and following in Clyde’s footstep.

That was another thing. Butters mostly just followed whatever Clyde wanted. Like he didn’t care that the guy was literally nothing without the Paladin himself, he was fine with being told where they should go or what Clyde wanted to do or who he wanted to say hello to while they were there or hey, can we stop by that place because they were mean to me once and I’d like them to see I’m not a total fuckup in life anymore.

Not that the last part was worded exactly like that, but Butters agreed to it anyway.

Butters was a really nice kid, Clyde thought to himself as he led the way up another flight of stairs to the top of the guard tower. He was really, really sweet, honestly, and had a seemingly endless amount of patience for him.

I mean, he probably understood, though. People said Butters was stupid, too, and useless. Clyde saw that first hand though, back in the Keep, the guy had fire and a good heart and fucking lightning to call from the sky and it was awesome. He was compassionate and thoughtful and knew what it was like to be hated just for existing and having to live with that for years.

Jimmy didn’t understand, really. His old friend at the Keep lived with some scorn, but he was so charismatic and kind that people were usually won over pretty quick. Token definitely didn’t understand, now that Cartman was gone his family was reinstated as Lords and there were secret whispers Clyde wasn’t supposed to know about that they were thinking of rebuilding Dunedhelbair, the castle the Keep had destroyed and had Kyle’s family killed in. He had always been respected by the normal townsfolk, even if Cartman and his lackeys looked down on him.

Craig had understood. Both were dirt poor, Craig was orphaned and taken in by his family and he’d totally understood. But Craig was smarter than Clyde, and stronger, and had ended up becoming someone famous and ended up marrying somebody to move far, far away.

He didn’t even know if Craig was okay. Or alive.

“Clyde?” A hand pressed against his shoulder, gentle and small, and Clyde wasn’t sure what he must have been doing if Butters noticed his distress from behind him.

“Hi! So,” He tried to gloss over whatever just happened, mind scrambling as they reached the circular room. “This is it. Cool, right? It’s all…all made from the single tree. Looks like a normal room, almost, without the windows! Uh…” He pointed out the divots unnecessarily. “There’s the points. For the lights. There’s four, not three. Sorry.”

There was an awkward pause, and Butters tilted his head. Pale blue eyes stared at Clyde in the approaching darkness, making them look almost sea-green.

“What’s wrong?” He asked simply, not moving from his spot.

Clyde was glad no one else was around.

“Nothing,” He insisted, feeling his face heat. “I was just…just thinking about Craig, you know? I hope he’s okay.”

Butters’ expression turned from troubled to understanding, and he smiled.

“Me too,” He said, moving to set the lights up in their respective areas. “But he’s got Tweek, and he looked a lot better when they left the Keep. I know they’ll be okay. Tweek’ll get his throne back and Craig can just be in the air and recover.”

Clyde chewed on his lip, looking away to lean slightly out the window and look down.

“He was different, though,” He said, slowly. “When he left. It…it really messed him up, down there.”

Butters didn’t say anything to that. Clyde looked over his shoulder to see Butters frowning as he set the next light up, staring at it a moment.

Clyde licked his lips.

“Did your parents ever tell you stories about the Wielders, too?” He asked, mostly for something to say. His palms were sweating. “Mine did.”

“I heard the stories,” Butters mentioned awkwardly, sending the kind of smile he did when he was uncomfortable. So…no. Even Clyde could pick up on that, even if everyone did think he was dumb.

They grew up in wildly different homes, Butters was super well off as far as the Keep’s standards went, and Clyde had been the lowest tier. Well, one of the lowest. Kenny probably had been lowest before they were sent to the Keep. And even Cartman had been on Clyde’s level. Maybe a little worse.

Now Cartman’s trial was over, Token was reinstated as a Lord, Jimmy was an entertainer in the upper-level pub, Kenny had taken the title of Queen and was technically Clyde’s monarch. Butters had a new title, but remained in his previously-held monetary system.

Only Clyde’s family had liked Clyde. Butters’ family _hated_ their son.

Now this wasn’t some ‘poor me my parents are strict’ thing Clyde had even gone through himself as a kid. This was serious, unable to please, disappointed parents, ‘you’re a mistake’ kind of hate that blew his mind.

He found out about that before they left for the Elven woods. Clyde really should have known better than to bring it up.

“…Wanna head to the next tower?” Clyde asked, feeling stupid.

Butters smiled back at him, following him back down the steps. Clyde reached for the Paladin’s hand as they crossed the next bridge. Pity he hated these things.

“So, you feel the lights when they’re up,” Clyde recalled one of the first questions he’d asked the guy when they started this mission. “Now that we have so many, are you tired at all?”

“Not in the least,” Butters said, and that at least sounded happy. He sounded delighted. “Oh, Clyde, it’s amazing! I can feel the lights, all the way back at the Keep, like it’s tugging my heart. Outside the walls, in the hallways, the kitchen, the jail cells, the pubs, the stables…it’s all there, and it’s so easy. Like breathing!”

Clyde bit the inside of his cheek, smiling. His enthusiasm was…something else. He squeezed his hand, heart fluttering with the same sort of joy. “That’s so cool,” He said happily, feeling it chase away his melancholy like lights of his own. “I wish I could light anything. I can’t even light my own bedroom.”

“That’s not uncommon, Clyde,” Butters never stood for any self-deprecating talk around him. “And anyway, I can light them for you.”

Clyde took a moment to take that in.

Butters spoke slowly. “That’s…that’s not an euphemism for anything, I promise.”

Clyde lost it.

He started to laugh, unable to stop the ugly snorts coming out of his mouth. Butters started laughing as well, and they crossed over the bridge in a much better mood.

Butters lit the next entryway onto the flat. The next bridge was really long and was going to have a point for lights. He wouldn’t like that. Clyde watched him, the sweet, soft-faced boy with a pure heart that was honestly too nice for all of this. Forgave too easily.

Butters pretended to be more oblivious than he really was. You couldn’t really escape that kind of scorn without noticing. Clyde suspected he was angrier over his treatment than he let on, just from the time he’d spent with the guy. He’d never really asked, though.

Clyde licked his lips.

“Hey,” He said, before he could think better of it. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Butters looked surprised, glancing over his shoulder.

“Well, sure, I guess,” He answered, clearly puzzled. “What is it?”

“I kind of was curious,” Clyde stalled on a question now that he actually had permission. Shit, he was staring at him and he felt like a moron now. “About you being a Paladin. You mentioned it being a joke, before.” Butters frowned, and Clyde scrambled. “I mean, I don’t get it, you kicked ass back there. You know, in the Keep. Paladins are supposed to be knights, right? You’re a good one. So what did you mean by a joke?”

Clyde wanted to wither and die. Fuck. He messed that up.

Butters didn’t tell him to screw off, but he wouldn’t expect him to. He’d just quietly take it, of course.

“You don’t have to tell me,” He said, fingers twisting into his tunic sleeves. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Butters said, quickly. “Um. Well, Eric didn’t have knights. I was kind of the weakest one there. It was just a joke because no one liked me. There’s not a lot more to that.”

Clyde still didn’t understand. He held his tongue from saying so, though, watching as the other boy examined the Staff, carefully tracing the stones nestled in the gnarled wood.

“Well he’s known for making mistakes,” Clyde said boldly, making Butters smile over him. “That was just another one.” He took a breath. “You made a great Paladin. Otherwise Kyle wouldn’t have made you one of the Caverns. Trust me, he doesn’t just do that.”

“I thought maybe he wanted to impress Kenny,” Butters said quickly, as if that had been bothering him.

“No,” Clyde snorted. “Trust me. He might be crazy about Kenny but he wouldn’t give you a title in his own kingdom for nothing.”

Butters exhaled softly. Both boys were quiet a moment, the soft lights and leaves of the tree casting bizarre shadows.

“What about you?” Butters asked Clyde, still fiddling with the Staff. “I know who you were, but I didn’t know much about your job. I didn’t even know you were one of the jail guards.”

Clyde blanched. “I wasn’t at first,” He said, crossing his arms as if he’d just felt a breeze. “It was kind of a punishment.”

Butters made a soft noise, something encouraging, and Clyde babbled onward.

“I just signed up for all of this to help my family, you know?” He said, looking out over the trees. “And it was kind of…implied that if I fucked up too badly they’d hurt for it. So Cartman liked making sure I did.”

His heart raced, the panicky, clammy feeling crawling back into his stomach. “He made a lot of us lower-tier servant have mock battles. He called it training but that was a bunch of horse shit. He liked picking favorites and pitting them against ones he hated. And he seemed to really hate me. So.” Clyde shrugged, biting his lip. “Yep. Kind of fun to go to sleep thinking you might have fucked up so badly you’d hurt someone, you know? And everything rigged so I’m going to fail again. And again, and again, and again. I hate him. I wish they’d just killed him and ended it for good.”

The words were harsh, and he meant them, but Butters didn’t so much as bat an eyelash. He moved to stand by Clyde, watching.

“He made me watch people die,” He said, closing his eyes. “He didn’t care, he let those people do whatever they wanted to real life persons and Craig ended up being one of them. I left and he had Craig down there and he shouldn’t have even survived. It’s not fair that everyone else was left for dead and he gets to _live, _it’s not.”__

__“I know,” Butters said softly._ _

__“I should have done something,” Clyde’s lips trembled._ _

__“You did,” Butters was…kind of leaning on him now, barely, brushing against him. “I heard about it. You shouted Eric down and he threw you out.”_ _

__“I lost my temper,” Clyde bewilderedly corrected, staring at the boy. “I was crying like a baby the whole time.”_ _

__“You stood up to him, though,” Butters said, pale eyes soft. “I lost my temper with him once before. It wasn’t pretty, and I at least knew he wouldn’t get rid of me. That was brave, Clyde.”_ _

__Clyde’s stomach crawled. “I was almost sold into slavery and my mother died and Craig got hurt, all because of-”_ _

__“Cartman,” Butters corrected. “Eric’s to blame, Clyde, not you. Okay? Look at me,” The boy was way too close. His slightly upturned nose had a small sprinkling of freckles on it, his blue eyes were all the same, solid color, filled with some kind of intensity._ _

__“You at least tried to make things better,” The Wielder told him, earnestly. “You went to work to help your family, you tried to protect them. You got upset at how people were treated and spoke up about it, even when everyone was scared of him. You became a guard for the Elves, and you tried to leave and check to make sure your family was okay.”_ _

__Butters was smiling, eyes flitting between Clyde’s own, the lights backlighting him into something ethereal. “That’s admirable. That’s brave. And what happened wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t’ve done anything to fix it.”_ _

__Clyde was finding it difficult to say anything. His throat seemed to close up on him.  
Not one person had ever called anything he did brave. Even joining their little group to storm the Keep, he felt mostly like Kyle was pitying him. Knew what it was like to lose a mom, and wanted to make Clyde feel at peace. No one called him brave. Said he was admirable. He was a baby, a failed flirt with the ladies, a child who acted before he thought and was generally looked down on._ _

__Clyde reached for his hand, entwining their fingers. Butters kept watching him, eyes so focused they were making him nervous._ _

__“So…there’s a spot on the bridge,” He said, trying to regain his mind. “Up ahead. I’ll stay close. It’ll be okay.”_ _

__“Yep, I’ll follow you,” Butters gave his hand a squeeze, making his heart jump, and Clyde led them over the bridge._ _

__This was what he meant by being confused over people’s dislike. Butters was sweet-natured and kind, and a little bit cute in general. Everyone should like this guy, right? Clyde liked him. He might pretend not to notice bad things, but he did and just tried to move on. What a strength. He cared about everyone else. How had he overlooked the guy?_ _

__Butters’ hands were a little shakier when they lit halfway across the bridge, but he was definitely doing better on the swinging bridges. He’d be fine by the time they were done tomorrow. He adjusted well, to everything it seemed. Just in general, an incredible person._ _

__“I’m sorry I didn’t know you,” Clyde blurted once Butters resumed the walk across the bridge, not reaching for his hand this time._ _

__That seemed to surprise the boy, and he twitched like he wanted to look back but thought better of it._ _

__“What?” He said, his free hand trailing over the woven rope to guide him across._ _

__“I’m just…I didn’t notice you, back in the Keep,” Clyde said, feeling a bit dumb. “I’m sorry about that.”_ _

__“Aw, Clyde,” Butters turned around the moment he was on solid ground. His expression was soft. “I was only promoted about a year before you left.”_ _

__“A year’s enough time to get to know someone,” Clyde defiantly replied. “Technically I’ve known you for less than that now.”_ _

__Butters stepped back to let him onto the platform, still watching him like he’d gifted him something. “You had other things to worry about.”_ _

__Clyde looked away._ _

__Back behind them, soft lights glowed in the darkness, lighting the way for anyone who might be traversing the treetops. Tondcuil, the Elves called it._ _

__His lights were more yellow than normal, softer in color and warmer. Clyde wondered if that was something the Wielder could control or if somehow, the lights were influenced by the Paladin’s gentle, warm personality._ _

__He liked it._ _

__Butters moved to look too, seeming satisfied. The moon was out at this point, not high enough in the sky to rival the way they’d lit from the guard entrance to Tondcuil._ _

__One day, they’d have all the known world back under the lights. Next they were off to the allies of the Elven realms. They were having issues with Cartman’s old buddies. They’d start by the ocean. Clyde had never seen the sea before, just heard it described. It was going to be exciting. And they’d be off together again._ _

__They’d be off together forever, actually, unless Clyde stepped down. He more or less agreed to remain as Butters’ traveling companion until the Paladin passed away and took his lights out with him._ _

__Something about that brought comfort to him._ _

__He glanced at the boy, who stood solemnly and watched the lights, thinking about something. He was pretty, in all honesty. All softened angles, pale colors, nothing about his harsh or sharp. Butters was comforting overall._ _

__Sometimes, he got these weird glimpses, or odd thoughts, that made him begin to understand why Craig could leave everything and everyone he’d ever known to fall in love with the stars and an almost otherworldly Barbarian boy._ _

__“I’m sorry, Clyde,” Butters said, and the brunet started. “I should have done something. I knew more than you did, and I never did a thing. Not until Kenny and Kyle showed up. I had to be forced to do something in the end.”_ _

__“Hey, you were suffering too,” Clyde protested immediately. He bumped Butters’ shoulder, alarmed. “Don’t do that to yourself. If I’m okay for what I did, so are you. You really made a difference. You saved the life of like, my best friend ever, that’s amazing. And you took down Cartman. You were there for Kenny, they had no one without you. And now Kenny’s married to Kyle and they’re running the Keep, Wendy and Stan are in charge of here until Ike’s older, and we’re friends with them all and they’re good people. Everything’s going to be good now, Butters.”_ _

__The boy smiled, a bit twistedly. “Yeah,” He said, and that didn’t sit well with Clyde._ _

__“Look,” He said, reaching to tug his upper arm so he’d turn to look at him. “Look at you now! You can control the Staff without it turning you dark like it did Kenny. And Kenny seems pretty nice, so that says something about you, right?”_ _

__“Kenny just lost her little sister,” Butters began, but Clyde was running his mouth already._ _

__“You’re bringing the light back into the world,” Clyde told him earnestly. “These people have been in the dark forever and you’re giving them back the light Eric and his predecessors have kept from them, from _us_ , our entire lives.”_ _

__Butters was quiet now, staring at Clyde like he was trying to drink in every word._ _

__“And this job fits you,” He insisted, squeezing his arm. “You know?”_ _

__Butters was never really meant to be a knight, or even a fighter. He could, but it was almost against his nature. He was about overcoming. Being the better man. Healing, giving things back. Clyde had difficulty picturing Butters killing anyone, and part of his job was wanting to make sure he didn’t have to. He wanted to protect him, wanted to be strong and reliant and protective and-_ _

__This was where things always got complicated. Where he got confused. He liked girls, liked girls a _lot_ , trying to disastrously flirt with Elf-maidens when he first got here was probably the only thing he did that irritated the higher ups, he was known for it even if he had zero successes for his efforts._ _

__Yet._ _

__If he thought about it too much, his feelings got all mixed up when he got too close to Butters. Physically or now, when they were basically sharing everything that had wronged them in life and what they still hurt for._ _

__Too many things got noticed. His eyes, his smile, the careful, reverent way he lit the lights. The softness of his face, his hands, the kind consideration he gave Clyde when he fucked up or admitted his fears._ _

__The ability to move on. Forgive. To harbor so little hate that he could pick up the Staff and use it, without it taking those awful thoughts and turning him into something unrecognizable._ _

__Clyde swallowed, still meeting Butters’ gaze with his own dark blue eyes._ _

__“You know,” He awkwardly tried to pick up his last sentence. “Because you are light. And we were all just kind of the forest. We can like, get along okay on our own. But in the end, we need you.” He felt stupid, something like fear making even his lips feel numb. “I’m glad you’re here.”_ _

__Butters was staring, face slowly turning red. He was blushing, lips slightly parted as he stared at Clyde like he’d just dropped the answer to the universe in his lap._ _

__Like Clyde was something important. Something to be revered. And not the other way around._ _

__And so, Clyde suddenly decided to go all in._ _

__“You’re a light for me too, Leo,” He said, the dumb line falling from his lips with all honesty and genuine feeling laced into each syllable. “Sometimes it keeps me from getting lost.”_ _

__Getting lost in his hatred, his hurt. He would have been thrown into the Caverns’ jails if Butters hadn’t spoken up on his behalf. Wouldn’t have been forgiving without him vouching for someone he only knew secondhand, but had noticed and admired, even? He would have gone down and killed Cartman himself if Butters hadn’t talked him out of it. And now, being invited to be his partner, his guard, his confidant, traveling the world to give back a little of what was stolen from the people of the world._ _

__Butters was staring still, frozen and dark red, looking like he was trying to think of something to say in reply._ _

__If he was going all in, he was going all in._ _

__Clyde stepped forward, using the adrenaline to press his lips against Butters’ parted ones. The boy squeaked, his lips were so soft and it was a sweet, gentle kiss. Something brief and Clyde leaned back feeling like he’d just solved a puzzle of some sorts._ _

__That had to be the bravest and dumbest thing he’d ever done, and that was saying something._ _

__Butters’ eyes were wide but a slow, disbelieving smile curved his lips. He rushed forward, crashing into Clyde to kiss him sweetly back, he could feel him smiling, his arms coming around his shoulders, his body pressed against his. Everything was slowed down and sped up at the same time, and Clyde wrapped his arms around him._ _

__Understanding, respect, affection. Somehow that transformed into some kind of love and somehow he was okay with this. This had to be a good decision, Butters kissed him back and meant it, meant it by the soft laugh against his lips and the sigh when Clyde kissed his nose, the shy smile and glowing eyes of someone that understood him and he was staring to understand in turn. Just that…that connection, the promise of friendship and maybe something else, forever, was as vast and intimidating and crazy wonderful as the view of the forest below._ _

__Butters was about his height, a little shorter, and felt nice in his arms. Was hugging someone supposed to feel like a privilege?_ _

__The Wielder wasn’t saying anything, but Clyde swore he could feel the joy radiating off the boy. He wanted to ask if this was okay, how long had this been okay for, wanted a little to both panic and shout overjoyed to the open skies, but merely squeezed the boy a little tighter, burying his face into his shoulder._ _

__Neither said anything. It wasn’t necessary, anyhow. The lights glowed behind them, the staff still in one of the Wielder’s hands as he kissed his guard again, slow and sweet above the forest floor under the moon, the world alight._ _


End file.
